What Happens After a Dream Girl Gets a Reality Check?
- Robyn Norrah
- Jun 6
- 7 min read
Let's unpack this...
A few years ago, I tried to tell my story and help others through a podcast called In & Out of Sanity—I went by @manicdizzydreamgirl back then. I poured my heart into those first episodes, sharing what I knew of myself and how I’d disappeared under the labels mental health professionals assigned to me after experiencing trauma while living in India. I talked about what it was like to dream, to chase those dreams, to lose your mind, regain meaning, and lose it all over again. I planned to document my journey back to myself, but when I choked up on the hard parts, I never posted the third episode. Even though I set aside that podcast, I never gave up on me.
It was because of that project that I went back to college—this time ready to do it for myself, for the dreams I talked about in that first episode. I chased my second bachelors degree in Philosophy, pretending the debt I was adding to my name was for a good cause, thinking maybe I’d become a professor, maybe I’d finally find my place in the world of ideas.
This was my second attempt at completing this degree. And the first time failed so badly for two reasons:
I felt like my professors didn't take me seriously, and
The environment of the college campus I in fostered a toxic social environment I felt prey to.
I'd found myself in the same world that was more interested in seeing me as 'muse' and 'play-thing' than a person with a real brain, full of thoughts and wonders, and a heart, holding back feelings and unkind words towards the men and women that had hurt me and maybe wanted me to fail.
It was during this first program where I noticed that philosophical education was really only accessible via an ivory-tower. And it didn't matter if some princess was already trapped there in her cyclical thoughts surrounding existence. No. Because what made a true academic philosopher, apparently, was not intelligence and reason. But was by the measure of their ability to recall and regurgitate author names and theories at the drop of a hat. As if these authors where some kind of knight in shining armor saving us all from clinical depression and purposelessness!
Ironically, I dropped out and spiraled into depression. I put my dreams so far on the sidelines that for the next decade, I subscribed to everyone else’s ideas of what I should do, instead of consulting myself. Apparently, I only got myself into mental health crises. If I followed the rules, maybe I’d find my way without landing in another psych ward.
That plan worked for about seven years—until it didn’t. I found myself in another psych ward, having another psychotic break. At 19, I’d made having a psychotic break and being bipolar seem “cute.” But at 28, I was given a new label: schizoaffective disorder. I was told my mind would only get worse, that bipolar disorder and schizophrenia ran on the same spectrum and I was now in the middle. As if sanity itself wasn’t even on the spectrum anymore.
But the truth is, I wasn’t “clinically insane.” In my reality—and in the eyes of those who knew my story—my “hallucinations” made sense. My thoughts had context. It was like I was awake but dreaming, and my mind wasn’t telling me to hurt myself or others. It was asking me to slow down, to connect with the world inside and around me, to remember the dreams I’d forgotten and the nature I once found solace in. Whispering that I had something of real value to give the world, that it was just a matter of time, that I still had things to learn, and that it would all make sense someday...
When I walked out of that psych ward I swore it would be the last time. I made a promise to myself to understand this "phenomena" that everyone—inside and outside the system—was made to misunderstand.
I set out to challenge the reality I was told I’d “lost contact with,” according to the DSM-5. I devoured books, lectures, TED Talks, and shared my story publicly (including here on this blog) in an attempt to unravel the whole mystery. I took the “respected” path and earned my degree, only to find myself questioning those very institutions and discovering so much more about the collective human psyche. That journey led me to develop the Sense Method, and now I’m bringing all of this work to you through There For I Am.
When I finally decided to go back to school and do what I truly wanted, I learned how to work within the academic system—and empathize with it. I had an amazing professor who hadn’t followed the traditional path, and his example showed me it was okay to take a side-quest. He encouraged me to get into academia, saying the field needed more outsider perspectives—people who had actually lived philosophy, not just studied it.
But after wrestling with the idea of pursuing a doctorate, I knew it wasn’t for me. That path would’ve meant going against my better judgment and my values. How could I contribute to a system that once oppressed me? How could I join it knowing it didn’t care who I was or what I could think up? It judged me, and I judged it right back. That realization forced me to eat some humble pie and inspired a paper that changed my life when I first conceptualized it. I loathed my own paradoxes and hypocrisy and decided to take my time, pivoting as a substitute high school teacher and juggling freelance work as a web designer.
I strategized ways to exit that life, sending out dozens of resumes to high schools from Florida to Georgia. I hoped the rise of AI would help me land a job teaching social studies and ethical AI, with a course I was building: Introduction to AI. I pitched this idea everywhere, but never heard back. Maybe I was too early. It became clear that the work I was passionate about wasn’t valued in traditional education. And honestly, I think we all know why—critical thinking isn’t always welcome. That’s when I realized I couldn’t wait for these systems to catch up. I’d have to change them myself.
There For I Am is the result of that decision. This is my open-source experiment in making philosophy, psychology, and sociology accessible—without academic gatekeeping, without the endless need to credit every “original” thinker (newsflash: nothing is truly new, and if you tuned into my AI Research Presentation, you know why). These ideas belong to all of us. They’re not meant to be guarded, hoarded, or over-protected—they’re meant to be shared, loved, freed, and appreciated.
This project is about getting philosophy out of the ivory tower. It’s about experiencing the freedom of thought-discovery outside of overpriced textbook and smoked-filled rooms between friends, but together, out loud, in the open. I want us to hold the big, messy, beautiful questions together—to build a future that’s actually viscerally equitable, authentic, and connected.
What’s Here, What’s Next
As of today, I have officially soft-launched the full mobile site to There For I Am! I have listed our first series of events that will begin next month which include the following:
Each virtual event will be recorded and published to our podcast There for I .AM on Spotify. The intention here is to make these conversations and the work we do together accessible and open to all. Just like philosophy should be taught ;)
In addition to the events I'll be publishing The Sense Method online course; a no-jargon, no-gatekeeping, $10, 10-module deep-dive into philosophical thought this July (exact date TBA). I've compiled over 5 hours of video-lecture content, plus worksheets, and a community forum, all designed to help you make sense of the abstract. I essentially take the foundations of ancient and modern philosophies that present across cultures, times, and space, simply them, and make them relevent to not only today but our interpersonal relations and everyday experiences.
I also have early enrollment running for our first Sense Support Circle, a 10-week workshop launching this fall for anyone who wants to work through the course in real time, with real people.
And as a shout-out to any and everyone who's helped me get to this point today, I want to thank you. From my family (the encouraging, non-scapegoating side that always knew I was gifted– not mental), to many friends that have come and gone in my life and in our shared reality, to my ex-clients who were so forgiving and understanding during times when I'd be struggling to understand what was going on with me, to the counselors and mentors who have offered free services and deep discounts when I needed it the most, to my loving partner who has taught me more than anyone on this planet, and to those who I've simply met along the way but that left lasting impressions held between our too-deep-for-a-sunday-afternoon conversations in passing– I thank you. I truly wouldn't be here if it wasn't for your time, your human decency, recognition, care, and life-lessons. You've all taught me more than any book could and I'm so grateful to have experienced your presence and to know that your still here today.
As a thank you, I’m offering a 32% discount on all of my offerings—events, memberships, and services until August. I chose 32 to honor this launch and your support, since I’ll be celebrating my 32nd birthday this Monday! The truth is, I wouldn’t be here, celebrating another year, without the people who believe in me, encourage me, and show me kindness when I needed it most and might not seem so deserving of it. This launch is the best gift I could give myself, but it’s only possible because of the community that lifted me up and reminded me I have value in this world. Now, it’s my turn to pass that love forward—to remind you that you matter, that you’re important, and that we’re all in this together.
Use the code "HAPPY 32" at checkout <3
Thank you for being here. Thank you for believing—in this work, in me, and in yourself. I can’t wait to see what we create together!
With love and wild hope,
Samantha Robyn Norrah
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